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Have you heard of this thing call self-care? This word seems to be a popular buzzword in our culture, another the thing the millennials cooked up, right? Not exactly, no. Self-care has been around for decades in the therapy world but now it’s becoming “mainstream”. This term is often used to rationalize having an extra slice of cake or maybe binge watching your favorite show. Yeah, that might be a part of self-care; giving yourself permission to enjoy things. Although, when it comes down to it self-care is about taking care of yourself. I hate to break it to you but you need more in life to survive than cake and Netflix. I am going to walk you through different areas of self-care we all need to put a little love and attention into.

Eat– Simple right? Well, this goes back to the eating cake all day situation. We need to fuel our bodies in an intentional way. Fueling your body means focusing on nutrients that your organs need, yes organs! Often we focus on food as what will shape our figures but underneath it all, we have organs that need help functioning by giving them vitamins and minerals. This also means eating consistently so your body does not go into starvation mode and store fat. Do you remember in school learning that our bodies are made up of 60% water? That means we need to be drinking water, we are not meant to live on soda, coffee or alcohol. Drinking half your body weight in ounces of water is one of the best things you can do for your body.

Sleep– Coffee is not a substitute for your lack of sleep. Let me say it again for the people in the back, we cannot function (well) on caffeine. Yes, it may feel like it gives you that pep in your step to make it through your morning but this is not a good long term solution. We have all been there, we need to finish a project so we will just stay up all night and push through. While that’s not the best way to function it happens from time to time. What about the other times though. In a world with technology at our fingertips it is easy to lay in bed scrolling for hours on end. Then morning comes, your alarm clock has no compassion for your sleepy eyes. By keeping the phone out of the bedroom and setting up a nightly routine sleep will be more readily available. Another excellent support for sleep is progressive muscle relaxation, schedule a session and we can walk through how you can do this in the comfort of your own home!

Workout– So, maybe you aren’t a body builder; Spoiler alert: I’m not either! This does not mean working out is not important. Working out is a fancy term for moving your body. Taking 30 minutes a day to just move your body is amazing for overall wellness. What can I do to move my body? Go on a hike, play basketball at the park, jump on the trampoline with your kids or walk your dog. Find the thing that works for you, there is something for everyone. At our house we enjoy dance parties in the living room blasting Queen.

Socialize– It is so easy to get stuck in a rut of going to work/school coming home and going to bed. It can be scary to reach out to people for fear of rejection or even fear of commitment. It is easy to say you are too tired to reach out to others but this is such an important part of life. Humans are social creatures and lack of human interaction can actually lead to failure to thrive in infants. Finding positive social interactions with healthy people in your life creates positive connectedness. When I was in graduate school it was hard, I mean capital H-A-R-D, hard! Therefore, to manage this, a bunch of us got together for a “stitch-and-bitch” every few weeks. This essentially was a craft day where we hung out, ate fancy cheeses, made things off Pinterest, and decompressed. This gave us all a time to say aloud that the things we were going through were hard and that’s okay because some things in life are going to be hard. It was also something to look forward to when there were hard days. Knowing in a few days, we would be making silly little coasters that we would probably mess up, helped us all make it through graduate school. So find some friends, co-workers, family, neighbors… Whoever and get together.

Mindfulness– Another fun buzzword… That again is not new but is getting a lot of attention. Mindfulness is about setting your mind and focusing on one thing at a time. We often get caught up in all the things we have to do in life and forget to live our lives. Mindfulness is a way to slow down and be in the moment. Something as simple as monitoring your breathing can be mindful. Let’s walk through this, breath in but focus on your chest filling with air. Notice your shoulders lift as you fill yourself with the deep breath. As you exhale feel your shoulders descend as your chest falls. You may also notice the temperature when your breath through your nose (warm-exhale, cold-inhale). In a later blog post, I will expand on more ways to be mindful so keep an eye out for that!

Learn– Learning is not just for school, we grow in many ways. Picking up a new hobby in your down time can be a great way to keep boredom from sneaking in and chipping away at your mental health. If you have always wanted to learn to play an instrument, YouTube is an excellent resource. You can also find low cost instruments on Craig’s List, Market Place, garage sales or even Buy Nothing free pages online. The best place to start is thinking about what you have always wanted to try, and go from there. Podcasts are also an excellent free source of knowledge on just about any topic you could think of.

Boundaries– This is the least fun part of self-care yet the most important part. When we are in relationships with things, those shape our experience of our world. When we are in relationships with things that are unhealthy, it creates an unhealthy foundation for us to grow. The people in your life that do not want you to set boundaries are the people in your life that have been benefiting from you not having any. It can be hard to say no to others but it is harder on you long term to constantly say yes to things that cause harm or do not benefit you. Boundaries can also be a mindset, “I don’t have to fix everyone” or “I don’t have to change who I am to make ‘them’ happy”. When we live the way that others want us to we are not living for ourselves. Last time I checked, they get a life just as you do. Live your life your way, just as they live their life the way they want to.

Fun– To end on light note, don’t forget to have fun. Go on an adventure; eat at a fun new place you have never been. Plan a vacation that you can enjoy, even if that means you rent a hotel room in your city for the night and dress all fancy to walk downtown. Find the things that bring you joy and set aside the time to do them. This is where the cake and Netflix can come back into the picture. We need to enjoy the life that we have so take care of yourself and give yourself permission to have fun.